Texts from Jane Eyre: And Other Conversations with Your by Mallory Ortberg PDF

By Mallory Ortberg

ISBN-10: 1627791841

ISBN-13: 9781627791847

Hilariously imagined textual content conversations—the passive competitive, the shrewdpermanent, and the strange—from vintage and smooth literary figures, from Scarlett O'Hara to Jessica Wakefield

Mallory Ortberg, the co-creator of the cult-favorite site The Toast, offers this whimsical choice of hysterical textual content conversations out of your favourite literary characters. we all know that if Scarlett O'Hara had an enormous text-and-data plan, she'd consistently try and tempt Ashley clear of Melanie with suggestive messages. If Mr. Rochester may possibly textual content Jane Eyre, his ardent missives may evidently be in all-caps. And Daisy Buchanan wouldn't in simple terms textual content whereas riding, she'd textual content you to select her up after she totaled her automobile. in keeping with the preferred web-feature, Texts from Jane Eyre is a witty, irreverent mashup that brings the characters out of your favourite books into the twenty-first century.


"In Texts from Jane Eyre Mallory Ortberg hilariously proves that she is familiar with fictional characters larger than they comprehend themselves. She makes me giggle like not anyone else."—Rainbow Rowell, bestselling writer of Eleanor & Park and Fangirl

"Dear Mallory Ortberg’s writer: Please ship me 27 circumstances of Texts from Jane Eyre, simply because I ate it love it used to be sweet lined in crack cocaine, it’s the easiest, and that i have to supply it to everyone."—Elizabeth Gilbert, bestselling writer of devour, Pray, Love and The Signature of All Things

"Witty and literate. Smart-ass humor with an emphasis on clever. I'm unsure who I'm extra jealous of: Mallory Ortberg for her comedian brilliance, or whoever bought to sit down subsequent to her in highschool English."—Adam Bertocci, writer of 2 gents of Lebowski

"Mallory Ortberg is admittedly, actually the funniest individual on the web. It seems she has additionally learn every thing. this can be the neatest, so much intellectual, such a lot subtle literary publication that may ever make you pee your self in public."—Rachel Fershleiser, co-editor of now not rather What i used to be making plans: Six-Word Memoirs by way of Writers well-known and vague

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Additional info for Texts from Jane Eyre: And Other Conversations with Your Favorite Literary Characters

Example text

The two yellow dots. Stick the dots above I Fill the plastic sandwich bag with candy and small prizes and tuck it inside the polliwog through the mouth opening. I Make a polliwog t o swim a t each place a t your party table.

I .. 1 TO PLAY, give each player a paper and a pencil. I The adult brings out the tray and uncovers it. The players have three minutes to study and memorize the objects on the tray. Then the adult covers the tray again and removes it from sight. The players have five minutes to write down the names and colors o f as many objects as they can remember. A t the end of the three minutes, the adult announces that the time is up. One point is given f o r each correctly namedobject and one point for each correctly named color.

Give the plates and cups peeking monster eyes with large self -stick stickers. brightly colored confetfi and curled ribbon on the table 39 ' - L I 1 -’I Hang lots of brightly colored streamers and 1 I’ balloons f r o m the ceiling. Put large self-stick 4 stickers on the bottom of each balloon t o look like peeking monster eyes. 4L FOR EACH PARTY FAVOR YOU WILL NEED: lunch bag yellow, red, and black construction-paper scraps plastic sandwich bag craft fur TOOLS: marker, scissors, white glue, cellophane tape Cut o f f the top part of the lunch bag so that the - bag is 6 inches (15 cm) long.

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Texts from Jane Eyre: And Other Conversations with Your Favorite Literary Characters by Mallory Ortberg

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